OPINION
Oh Well: Expectations, self-care are changing dating
I wrote a column about feminism and dating and since then, I have been thinking a lot about exactly how it has evolved. Oli” has me thinking about the reclamation of femininity when it comes to modern dating. Disappointment can drive us to realize having expectations is not being stubborn or anti-man.
The scariness of modern dating aside, love is powerful and can alter lives, art and more. Despite the hurdles of soft launching and fear of being male-centered, women who find a partner who aligns with them is beautiful.
“I hope that young girls know that life is full of so much joy that is unrelated to a husband or kids,” Rodrigo said in an interview with British Vogue.
A Substack essay by Eleni Brunelle about Rodrigo’s album said it is not focused on the boy at all.
“Olifusion and emotional volatility can distort even the most ‘ideal’ relationship, and blur the line between victim and villain,” Brunelle said.
Even though Rodrigo said she wants to be a mother, she shares there is much more to life than finding the right partner. Being feminine does not have to mean being a mother. It can be knowing what you want in a partner so you can experience a glow you’ve never had before. Rather, it can be focusing energy to create harmony within, a self-discovering journey bigger than being anti-man or being a heterofatalist, someone who finds heterosexual relationships exhausting and disappointing.
At the core of creating expectations is letting go of the urge to settle for less. The search can be overwhelming, but it is better to find someone who can care for you just as well as you do for yourself. When the desire to not be alone becomes stronger than the will to uphold standards, we tend to settle.
Rodrigo’s track “Expectations” dives into her outlook on searching for a partner by putting herself above a man. In the song, she sings about how she will not settle for someone with a “fake job” and how she has evolved to expect more out of a life partner.
A recent <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDE4xS7f/” rel=”nofollow noopener” target=”_blank”>trend on TikTok is showing how women online are shifting to focus more on expectations by not sacrificing their interests and values for a man. “Stop The Wedding!” by Ashe is a song used in these videos. Users are making edits with captions, stating if a man does not meet your standards or hurts you in some way, you should “stop the wedding” or call off the relationship.
One TikTok user even interpreted the song as something bigger.
“I’m so in love with this song because ‘the wedding’ could be anything: A relationship. A job. A house. Everything. Every path that doesn’t sit good for you. If you feel that something is wrong, stop the ‘wedding,’” they said
Expectations are revealing themselves with the rise of women making their presence known. With Rodrigo’s Daisy Chain Fields festival being an all-women performance festival, something is shifting in feminism. Oh well, expectations are more than being picky; they are about looking after yourself.
Cassidy McClurg is a junior student studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note the opinions expressed in this column do not represent those ofThe Post. Want to talk to Cassidy about their column? Emailcm303824@ohio.edu
