Some days, happiness feels elusive. Perhaps it’s the endless grey skies of the monsoon, when the lack of sunshine and constant rain leave many people feeling sluggish. Or maybe it’s the daily grind, a difficult boss, financial worries, relationship troubles or simply an endless to-do list, that makes even the smallest joys seem distant
It’s easy to believe that happiness is something that will arrive once life gets better- after the promotion, the dream holiday, a healthier bank balance or the perfect relationship
But what if happiness isn’t something you stumble upon? What if it’s something your brain can actually learn? Expert says the answer may be yes
Happiness is more than just a feeling
According to Farheen Belgaumwala, certified happiness coach and co-founder of TCMC, happiness is less of a fleeting emotion and more of a skill that can be developed over time
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“We often treat happiness as a destination,m something we will finally reach after the next promotion, the right relationship or greater financial security. Yet every milestone soon gives way to another. Perhaps happiness is not something we arrive at, but something we learn to practise along the way,” she says
Research in neuroscience and positive psychology supports this idea. While personality, genetics and life circumstances do influence wellbeing, everyday habits also play a significant role in shaping how we feel
Why our brains focus on the negative
Ever wondered why one harsh comment can ruin your day, while several compliments barely register?
That’s because the human brain has what’s known as a negativity bias, an evolutionary tendency to notice threats, problems and unpleasant experiences more readily than positive ones
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According to Belgaumwala, this means our brains are naturally wired to remember criticism, setbacks and failures more vividly than moments of joy. The encouraging part is that this wiring isn’t fixed
“The brain has an extraordinary ability called neuroplasticity,” she explains. “Repeated patterns of thought and behaviour gradually shape how we respond to life.”
Small habits can rewire the brain
Training the brain for greater happiness doesn’t require dramatic life changes. Belgaumwala recommends beginning with simple, intentional practices that gradually shift attention away from what’s lacking towards what’s already going well
-Noticing three things that went well during the day
-Expressing genuine appreciation to someone
-Performing small acts of kindness
-Taking brief pauses between tasks instead of constantly rushing
-Spending less time on screens
-Having meaningful conversations with family or friends
While these actions may seem insignificant individually, repeated consistently they can help build emotional resilience
Be kinder to yourself
Another habit many people overlook is the way they speak to themselves
“We often extend patience and understanding to others but judge ourselves harshly for every mistake,” Belgaumwala says
Self-compassion, she explains, isn’t about avoiding responsibility or making excuses. Instead, it’s about responding to setbacks with enough kindness to recover, learn and move forward rather than getting trapped in self-criticism
Happiness doesn’t mean feeling good all the time
One of the biggest misconceptions is that happy people never feel sad, anxious or angry. In reality, emotional wellbeing isn’t about avoiding difficult emotions
“Happiness is not permanent cheerfulness, nor is it the denial of pain,” Belgaumwala says. “It is the ability to experience difficult emotions without allowing them to become our entire identity.”
Resilience, she adds, is about accepting that setbacks are part of life while maintaining hope and perspective
The goal isn’t perfection
As a workplace happiness coach, Belgaumwala says she has observed that emotionally healthy people don’t necessarily have easier lives. Instead, they have learned healthier ways to interpret setbacks, seek support, celebrate progress and protect the relationships and activities that give their lives meaning
Ultimately, happiness may not depend entirely on circumstances beyond our control
“It is a lifelong practice shaped by small choices, repeated consistently. We may not control every circumstance, but we can train how we meet it- with awareness, connection and kindness,” she says
In a world that constantly tells us happiness lies somewhere in the future, science suggests it may actually begin with the habits we choose today
