Key points
- Evolutionary psychology can help us understand which human dispositions we can and cannot change.
- Learning changes the brain, showing that biology and experience are intertwined rather than opposites.
- Understanding evolved tendencies may help us channel them constructively instead of trying to eliminate them.
- Accepting biological limits can help us focus our efforts on changes that are realistically achievable.
The Serenity Prayer
During the 1930s, theologian Reinhold Niebuhr began incorporating into his sermons what is now known as the Serenity Prayer. In 1941, Alcoholics Anonymous adopted this familiar version:
God give me the serenityTo accept the things I cannot changeCourage to change the things I canAnd wisdom to know the difference
Although the AA version emphasizes divine assistance, the heart of the prayer is the wisdom to distinguish what can be changed from what cannot. Without such wisdom, people may waste enormous time and energy trying to change what is impossible to change. Can psychology help us discern what we can and cannot change?
Wisdom from Psychology
Martin Seligman addressed this question in his book What You Can Change and What You Can’t. Although published in 1993, its central message remains sound. Seligman explains how our evolved biology places important constraints on psychological change and why disorders such as anxiety and depression are highly treatable while disorders such as post-traumaticstress disorder are extremely difficult to treat
People sometimes want to change ordinary personality traits rather than clinical problems. Many hope to become more conscientious or extraverted. Research reviewed by Peter Haehner and colleagues (2024) shows that intentional personality change is possible to some extent. However, biology limits how far those changes can go. Understanding those limits can help us set realistic goals
Biology Guarantees and Constrains Change
Many discussions of psychological change assume that biologically based traits are fixed because we carry the same genes throughout life while learned traits are changeable because they can be unlearned. This distinction is misleading for several reasons. I have described these reasons in detail in a previous post. I will summarize two of these reasons below
First, learning itself is a biological process. Whenever we learn, our brains change. If nothing changes in the brain, nothing has been learned
Second, genes do not simply create fixed, unchanging characteristics. Throughout life, they guide development, becoming activated or deactivated by both internal and environmental conditions. From infancy through old age, humans undergo profound psychological and behavioral changes made possible because genes have built brains capable of learning. Biology therefore makes change possible rather than preventing it
At the same time, biology imposes limits. Humans will never sprout wings and fly. Less dramatically, extreme introverts are unlikely to become extreme extraverts. If we seek wisdom about what can and cannot be changed, biology deserves careful attention
Resistance to Biological Constraints
Many people resist the idea of biological constraints because they seem to threaten personal freedom or social equality. Historically, some biological theories were indeed misused to justify racism, sexism, and other forms of inequality
During the 1970s, critics of sociobiology—the forerunner of modern evolutionary psychology—argued that sociobiology served conservative political agendas by portraying social hierarchies as natural and inevitable. Similar criticisms continue today
Yet surveys consistently find that evolutionary social scientists tend to lean politically left rather than right. Moreover, many evolutionary psychologists argue that the real source of resistance to discussions about biology is not politics but commitment to the”blank slate” view of the human mind—the belief that people are born without important behavioral predispositions. This perspective offers comforting reassurance that people can become almost anything through learning alone. In effect, it rejects the Serenity Prayer’s premise that some aspects of human nature cannot be changed.
A New Book on Evolutionary Constraints
I recently read Hunter Trace’s The Why Behind Things, which summarizes key insights from several decades of work by evolutionary psychologists, biologists, and anthropologists. Among its most important themes are:
- We are often unaware of why we do what we do.
- Many of our hidden motives evolved during millions of years when humans lived in small ancestral groups.
- Some of these motives are enduring features of human nature.
- Traits that once promoted flourishing may be poorly suited to modern environments.
- Rather than trying to ignore or eliminate evolved tendencies, we should design environments that channel them in healthier directions.
Evolutionary Psychology Essential Reads
The Arc of Evolutionary Psychology
Wired to Walk Counterclockwise
These ideas illustrate how evolutionary psychology might provide some of the wisdom sought by the Serenity Prayer. Instead of struggling to erase enduring aspects of human nature, we should learn to work with them
Political Tribalism
Political polarization offers a useful example. Americans increasingly identify with opposing political tribes, often displaying hostility, disrespect, and sometimes violence. How should we respond? The blank slate perspective suggests that tribalism is entirely learned. If the blank slate perspective is true, education could teach people not to think tribally
Evolutionary psychology offers a different approach. Throughout human history, our ancestors lived in tribes that frequently competed with other tribes. We may therefore possess evolved tendencies to identify strongly with groups, where learning determines which particular groups we identify with. This is similar to our evolved capacity for language and learning the specific languages we are exposed to
If this evolutionary perspective is true, attempting to eliminate tribal identification by teaching people not to think tribally may be unrealistic. A more promising strategy might be to help people recognize these evolved tendencies and channel them into less destructive forms of competition and cooperation
Working With Human Nature
Hunter Trace hopes readers will use evolutionary insights to replace self-defeating habits with healthier ways of thinking and living. Denying biological influences will not eliminate problems such as unhealthy eating, compulsive gambling, excessive moralizing, avoidance of challenges, or compulsive screen use. Instead, understanding these tendencies in their evolutionary context can help us develop more constructive ways of managing them. This approach reflects one of my own long-standing goals: improving individual lives and society by applying insights from evolutionary science.
Trace proposes five broad principles:
- Discover evolutionary truths about human nature.
- Design environments that fit those realities.
- Tell stories that give meaning without encouraging victimhood or demonizing others.
- Cultivate humility.
- Resist paralysis in the face of human imperfections and incomplete knowledge.
No strategy guarantees a perfect future. But accepting the realities of human nature while thoughtfully shaping the environments in which people live might offer our best hope for improving both individual well-being and society
Haehner, P., Wright, A. J., & Bleidorn, W. (2024). A systematic review of volitional personality change research.Communications Psychology, 2, Article 115
Pinker, S. (2002). The blank slate: The modern denial of human nature. Viking
Seligman, M. E. P. (1993). What you can change and what you can’t: The complete guide to successful self-improvement. Alfred A. Knopf
Trace, H. (2026). The why behind things: A book about the animal we are and the world it built. Kindle Direct Publishing
