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According to Stanford Medicine, between 24 and 50 million Americans have an autoimmune disease, and—of those individuals—as many as 4 out of 5 are women. Coincidence? I think not
So many women are conditioned to be selfless, accommodating, supportive, and a host of other adjectives that lead to self-neglect. Now, the internet is pushing back on these standards and reminding women—and really anyone, for that matter—of the expensive cost we pay when continuously abandoning our own needs.
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The body keeps the score, as Bessel van der Kolk has proved; and if you want to avoid an autoimmune disease, well, you might consider being a b—h. At least, according to social media
Can Being a B***h Really Save You From Autoimmune Disease?
As someone who developed an autoimmune disease after spending most of my life downplaying my own needs and battling chronic shame from my OCD, I do think being a b—h could have saved me from a ton of physical ailments. My worst flares occur after I silence my own voice or experience mental distress
In recent years, however, I’ve learned the power of setting boundaries and saying no.
No, I won’t spend my two weeks’ salary on your bachelorette trip.
No, I’m not comfortable with the inappropriate relationship you maintain with your ex-girlfriend
No, I don’t want to surround myself with people who talk shit behind my back
“Setting healthy boundaries does not prevent one from getting sick, but it can help reduce chronic stress that takes a toll on both mind and body,” says Dr. Max Doshay, a licensed clinical psychologist and Co-Founder & CEO of KMN Psych. “People who constantly ignore their own needs are often in prolonged states of emotional strain. Saying no, giving up unnecessary guilt, and treating yourself with compassion can improve sleep, lower your stress levels, and support healthier daily habits to benefit long-term physical health.”
For women, those actions often earn us the title of “b—hes.” If practicing self-care, prioritizing my own needs, and staying true to my values makes me a b—h, then so be it. I’ve witnessed what self-neglect can do, and I refuse to go down as a martyr
Stress and the Development of Autoimmune Disease
Stress might not cause autoimmune diseases, but it can be a risk factor. For example, two people who are predisposed to such conditions might have entirely different outcomes. One who lives a peaceful, aligned lifestyle may never go on to experience symptoms of the disease, while the other who suffers from an emotionally abusive marriage or prolonged stress might develop a severe case of it
“Stress by itself does not lead to an Autoimmune Disease; however, chronic stress may alter how you function within your own body and your immune system,” says Doshay. “The research is also showing that chronic psychological stress can result in chronic low-grade inflammation and/or make someone who has been predisposed to having autoimmunity worse or start an active flare-up of their disease. It is most appropriately thought of as part of a larger picture which includes genetics, environmental factors, hormonal influences, and lifestyle.”
How to Manage Stress and Protect Your Health
You don’t have to be a b—h to protect your health—you just have to take care of yourself. Unfortunately, for women, these two things are often synonymous by society’s standards. Of course, men sometimes experience the same backlash when prioritizing their own needs. We must push back on these ridiculously high standards and make time for stress management and rest.
“Regular activities and developing healthy daily routines assist the body in healing from excessive stress by beginning a process of regulation of the nervous system through routine habits and behaviors,” says Doshay
He recommends prioritizing regular exercise, quality sleep, mindfulness, deep breathing techniques, frequent breaks throughout the day, and a strong social support network. These seemingly small acts can preserve your health in the long run
The right people will understand and support your self-care. And if they don’t, well…let ‘em call you a b—h. I wear that title with pride
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