How to Win and Lose Graciously in Life
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With the countless number of decisions to make every day, it can be easy to become overwhelmed or stuck
From choosing what to eat for lunch to deciding whether to attend a friend’s event, overthinking a choice and the consequences are common
Many of us think we’ll find happiness from making the right choice all the time. However, Dr. Sue Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist, wants us to understand that, ironically, happiness is not found in one single decision
“Instead, it comes from making the best choice with the information you have at hand, which is often good enough but not perfect,” Varma tells TODAY.com
Mental Health Tip of the Day: Follow the “rule of three”
Varma’s “rule of three” is a simple framework designed to reduce decision fatigue and help you make decisions with confidence
“This exercise gives you a chance to narrow down options and move forward with greater clarity,” Varma explains
1. Narrow Your Options to Three
Rather than weighing many choices, start by identifying the three strongest options, which will make the decision easier for your brain to manage. Doing so “transforms an overwhelming decision into a manageable one,” Varma says
2. Give Yourself a Deadline
To prevent overthinking, establish a deadline. Using the rule of three, give yourself three minutes, hours, day, weeks or months to come to a conclusion
For bigger decisions, like moving to a new city, a longer timeframe makes sense. If you’re choosing what to have for dinner, try to decide in three minutes
3. Limit Outside Opinions to Three Trusted People
Advice from others can be key to making a good choice. However, too much outside counsel can cause more confusion instead of confidence
“A lot of times, we get a lot of different people’s ideas into our heads, and that can make it worse for us,” Varma says
So, limit the number of people you ask for insight, and choose only trusted people who understand your values
Why It Matters
While it’s not a diagnosable medical condition, decision fatigue is very common and occurs as you make more decisions throughout the day, per the Cleveland Clinic. Minimizing decision fatigue can help improve executive function skills, brain fog, procrastination, overall dissatisfaction and more
Additionally, the “rule of three” encourages making decisions based on your values, not emotions, Varma says
If you start to experience decision fatigue daily, it could be a sign to talk to a mental health specialist
How to Get Started
Varma has a few tips to make the most of “the rule of three.”
First, ensure you are well-rested in order to be less reactive. Sleep is a key factor for effective decision-making
Next, trust values more than your current mood. Not every decision will be easy, and discomfort does not mean you made the wrong choice, Varma says
“A lot of people tell me when they make a challenging decision, they’re happy afterwards,” Varma adds. “I’m a big believer in short-term discomfort for long-term gain.”
TODAY’s Expert Tip of the Dayseries is all about simple strategies to make life a little easier. Every Monday through Friday, different qualified experts share their best advice on diet, fitness, heart health, mental wellness and more
